the privilege of mutual desire

I can’t seem to find anything online about this, which makes me believe that I’m in a rare situation. I have more opportunities for lovers (in exactly the capacity I want them) than I’m sure what to do with. It’s fucking glorious.

Perhaps I’m that fabled bisexual, bohemian lover that men seem to want and never truly find? I want companionship and friendship and sex…without commitment or jealousy. Just enjoy each others’ company. Talk. Hang out. Plan trips. Have amazing sex. Freedom to go on dates and no questions. Complete openness about the state of the “relationship”.

I feel very lucky to be desired and lucky that I have (literally) a list of suitors to choose from, both male and female. I’m so frigging excited about this and I don’t know that any of my friends would understand or support me. I’ve tried talking about it with a couple of female friends and they are only jealous. That makes me uncomfortable.

Why do these otherwise great women have such a hard time finding what they want in a partner? Are my standards too loose? Am I more attractive than I think myself to be? Does the average person really have terrible self esteem or such a lack of self awareness that they can never be happy? That sounds like hell.

I don’t know where else to express my gratitude for this part of my life. Why is nobody else as happy with their love life?

Even if this is a delusion, I like it. I’ll keep it, thanks. I feel loved and satisfied and content with my beautiful harem.

in-the-harem-by-gyula-tornai-s

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2 Responses to the privilege of mutual desire

  1. katariah says:

    I’ve been there and understand what an amazing thing it is. Treasure it while you have it 🙂

  2. hansales1088 says:

    I really am enjoying your posts : )

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